Someday I'll get back to posting pictures - I've gotten a bit behind in the whole downloading and everything - but right now I need to ask for some advise...
I know there's a lot of great moms that I really look up to that read this blog so I appeal to you for some help.
Most of you know my son, Collin. He's super cool, smart, athletic, curious, cute :) but lately he has been making me crazy. I think it's just a phase he's going through but I still need to figure out a better way of dealing with it.
The problem: he has become an incurable whiner! Mixed in with it is the whole you-never-buy-me-anything, why-don't-I-have___, and the simple I'm-bored! The thing is is that he will say these things right after he finished playing with his new toy with his friends etc. It's completely unjustified and unreasonable which means that even when I try to reason with him it doesn't work.
It's as if he is trying to make even the fun things we do awful and it's taking away the fun of the whole family. I can give you example after example (some of them actually kind of funny because they're so extreme and ironic) but basically I have a ungrateful whiny little kid that thinks he can just yell at me and I'll magically make it better - "If you love me you'd buy me a webkinz!"
So what's your advice? I usually start off patient but after about 2 hours I start to lose my cool - so what do you do???
Do you have any helpful examples, websites, FHE lessons - anything! I'm starting to hear K use the same grumpy demands so I have got to nip this in the bud quick!
Peanut Butter Bars-Jason’s favorite
2 years ago
6 comments:
Ha Ha your kids not perfect, jk. I know I'll be dealing with it soon too. Rainey mentioned having some good parenting dvd's, I don't know if she knows where they are but you should ask her. Otherwise the only book I've heard of is Parenting with love and logic. Otherwise take away all his toys and lock him in his room for a week and he should be good as new.
Good Luck!
I'm no help. We are dealing with the same thing. We just get screamed at even louder when we don't do what Karissa wants. Time-outs work to a degree. Soemone suggested taking things away for a period (small) of time until they can be respectful.
WOW ... can we relate to what you are going thru.... 4 boys and we are still learning...
1st thing to remember.. Kids are selfish creature. They will always think of themselves first. It's all they know.
2nd, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY. You, know this.. but I think you need to hear it. You have been intrusted with the upbringing and care of these children. You will go thru trials, and they will go thru trials as they learn how to deal with what life has to offer. The only thing you can do when a child thinks he is deprived, is show him he isn't. It doesn't always work... but remember how many times we don't listen to the things we are suppose to do, until we finally "GET IT". It's hard being a parent... your heart is broken over and over as the children learn... but remember ... thats what suppose to happen.
I have used the starving children in third world countries... the homeless.... i have even taken my children to the homeless shelters to show them... HOW MUCH THEY HAVE. I haven't gotten to this point yet.. because they have smartened up (the older ones) but i was going to have them go to the store(with there own money) and buy a toy they really really want... and then take them to the local charity and donate it. Show them about Charity, sacrafice and love.
Use this a teaching moment... if you can't because its puling at your heart strings tooo much... and i Know it does.... (i will never forget the day my kids Dexter and Quin both said to me in one day they I never buy them anything (they were about 5 and 6).. i almost went thru the roof.) But i used as a moment of teaching)... get your husband to explain, charity and love and all the things that he has been blessed with..... it will take time.
3rd as for the mouthing off....and yelling at you.... disrespectful,, but its a trend i am seeing in everyones life.... i am not sure why.... and i have a hard time controlling it in our family also...
Two wondeful senior missionaries help us but saying the following... Just Love them.... we they say I DON"T LOVE YOU, or I HATE YOU... just say... I love you. The mood will change... they will get frustrated... but they won't be in control of your emotions.
Hope this helps... i have a couple of books to recommend... they are at home and i am at work right now... if you are interested... i can post the names... let me know.
Kevin.... Hang in there... you are doing great. ( i can tell from all the blogs you post- ps I miss those photos :) )
Hey Cate! Kevin has some good advice that I will have to remember when the time comes. I think you are doing a great job! Just tell him to stop whining or else he can come and live with me. :) My sister has her kids doing chores around the house to earn money for ...webkinz such as making the bed, picking up toys, going to bed on time, reading, homework.. kind of like a job chart. Each thing is worth so much and of course the money is taken away if the fight, argue, WHINE..
Its an idea anyway. Miss you!
Cathy, Wow, that is awesome! Sorry, it just makes me chuckle. Just wait until you have teenagers! Then one day they will go off to college and within a few months you will get the sweetest most sincere note that says they were sorry for giving you such a hard time and that they think you are the best Mom in the world and that they love you and feel blessed to be their daughter... Then you will look back on all those CRAZY years and say "Yes, it was worth it!"
Wow I wish I could give you some great advice like your other friends. However, Ben is only 4 months old and my kindergartners didn't ask me for things they went to their parents for that ;0)
I have heard that "Parenting with Love and Logic" is and awesome program. It comes highly recommended from my friend who is a child physiologis.
Good luck with that. I am sure I will be coming to you in about 5 years for the same advice.
I need your help too. Take a peek at my blog!
Post a Comment